Stephanie Sibounheuang, girlfriend of the late rapper PnB Rock, is in a season of transparency. In an Instagram Live posted on Saturday (Jan. 14), she let down her guard and exposed a more vulnerable side to her followers as she discussed how challenging life has been without the “I Need More” artist.

Sibounheuang said without PnB Rock by her side to help care for their family, finances have been a concern. She also credited her ability to stay afloat to her go-getter mentality and the help of fans who have supported her Angel Energy line of sweatshirts.

“It’s just been tough without no help, without, you know, my protector and my provider here,” she said. Exactly four months have passed since PnB Rock was robbed and fatally shot while he dined at Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles in Los Angeles with his girlfriend. He and Sibounheuang share a daughter named Xuri.

When asked if there was any assistance she received as a result of the slain artist’s death, she said no. “He did not have life insurance. No, he did not have a will. No, we didn’t have nothing set up,” she responded. “We’re so young [that] we don’t plan on death. I don’t get no death benefits. I don’t get nothing,” she added.

Though the single mother is still grappling with the enormous loss, she has seemingly strengthened her relationship with God. She continued, “It’s really like, I’m just letting God use me. I’m just trusting God’s plan. I’m just being obedient. Like, if that’s what God [wants], then have your way,” as she held back tears.

Police have made four arrests in connection with PnB Rock’s death. A father, Freddie Lee Trone, and his 17-year-old son are facing multiple charges, including murder. Shauntel Trone, Freddie’s wife, was also charged with accessory after the fact.

View Sibounheuang’s full post below.