Key Takeaways

• Dr. Alduan Tartt explains how grief, loneliness and unrealistic expectations contribute to the holiday blues.
• Activities that foster connection and purpose can help ease emotional strain during the season.
• Practicing gratitude and engaging in “flow” states can support mental resilience and joy.

Every year, the culture gets ugly sweater-deep into the holiday season. While many revelers cheerfully usher in the hustle and bustle that this time of year brings, about 89% of adults could very well consider themselves a grinch, as they find themselves triggered by the holidays. The negative emotions tied to this are commonly referred to as “the holiday blues.”

REVOLT spoke with Dr. Alduan Tartt, a clinical psychologist based in Atlanta, Georgia, who described the holiday blues as “a temporary period of sadness or stress or emotional heaviness that shows up specifically around the holidays.”

He began, “The holidays intensify expectations to be in a relationship, to be happy, to be with family, to have money, to be around people you love, to be grateful, to provide financially for gifts,” Tartt explained. “People are also dealing with losses on multiple levels: loss of a job, loss of parents, health, loss of brother, loss of happiness, connection, loss of hope in the country. So, it's compound losses.”

Not only do holiday blues produce more of the negative emotions, but also a numbing of positive enjoyment, Tartt added. Here are some coping strategies that Tartt provided for people who find themselves facing the overwhelming sensations of those holiday blues.

1. Build community

Tartt pointed to the fact that we are in a loneliness crisis sparked by the introduction of social media and remote work. He emphasized that the holidays have a tendency to increase the volume on loneliness and sense of disconnection. “They don't have an eight-hour shift to distract them from the fact that they're alone, or they're at home in a whole marriage, feeling alone. Then it adds pressure to connect with friends and family when you may not feel like it, or to deal with the finances of social events.”

Tartt said the number one thing to ease those emotions is to cultivate a sense of closeness by building the community that you want, even when you still have to wrestle with stress. Isolation exacerbates your mental health due to lack of support but community banishes it.

“Just because you live alone or you're lonely in your marriage doesn't mean that you have to suffer,” he said. “I can go line dancing. I can go cycling with the brothers. I can go to Bible study and then come home. So, I can get the community outside. If you're a host, you can invite people into your home. So, America is changing because it has to.”

He cited the Harvard Study of Adult Development to make his case that the biggest predictor of long-term happiness was the quality of close relationships. “People who felt securely connected, whether it's to family, friends or our community, were happier, healthier and lived longer. They had better physical health. They had higher emotional health and they live longer,” Tartt said.

2. Involve yourself in “flow”

Holidays can be a disruptor of normal routines, which could go on hiatus during the season — especially if you’re used to seeing work colleagues, hanging out with the same group of people, or are involved in activities that bring you joy or a sense of normalcy.

That’s where flow comes in. Flow is a concept in positive psychology coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and involves immersing yourself in an activity which could lead you to lose track of time doing something you love.

“This is good for the brain,” Dr. Tartt explained. “You're teaching. You're doing art, music, sports, ministry, music. Whatever you're doing brings you so much happiness. You're in a flow. You forget what time it is. You forgot that you were tired. Your brain is actually happy.”

Tartt also advised building micro rituals into your own version of the holidays when you find that your routine is gone. He gave his advice: “Cook a special meal for yourself, movie night, write a letter to your future self. Figure out what time you're going to get up to go to the gym. Build a schedule for yourself so that you have structure for your day, and you're not sitting around thinking about what you don't have.”

3. Show vulnerability

Tartt said that vulnerability, often looked at as a weakness, is actually a strength. “If you can name it, you can tame it,” shared Dr. Tartt, adding that when we name what we feel, we’re able to decrease the intensity of it.

“There’s a study that says that when you vent in a car to yourself, you have better mental health,” he continued. “If you keep it inside and suppress it, those suppressed feelings go to your body, and then you start having stomach aches, headaches. You’re not able to sleep and your body begins to get sick because of the negative emotion.”

4. Embrace the psychology of “awe”

Psychology Today defines awe as “a complex emotion that occurs when we experience or witness something wondrous, vast, terrifying, inspiring, amazing, or mind-blowing.”

Dr. Tartt recommended taking yourself somewhere scenic like a walk in the park, going to a different city to have dinner, or checking into a hotel. “It shocks your brain to focus on something that puts you in awe, so that your brain is seeing something beautiful.”

5. Stay healthy and give yourself grace

Tartt emphasized the power of good sleep, nutrition and movement, which all have the ability to affect mood quickly. He pointed out, “People underestimate sleep. The surgeon general says we're supposed to get 49 hours a week. [A lack of sleep] actually increases anxiety and depression, and the No. 1 red flag for suicide is sleep deprivation.”

He also warned of the mindset of grinding and the superperson syndrome, where saving the day can have a negative impact on rest for yourself. “The main thing I want people to get is that it's not that they're depressed, it's seasonal. It's the fact that the holidays, while it can be a great time, can also be an extremely stressful time. So, give yourself grace,” Tartt advised.

6. Savor gratitude

Gratitude — a positive emotion practice — is a natural mood booster. To build onto actively partaking in gratitude, Dr. Tartt suggested savoring it. “Savoring is when you intentionally enjoy a moment on purpose: I'm going to sip this tea and look at this view, and I'm going to savor it. I'm going to double enjoy this vacation. I have my health. I noticed I actually have a job; a lot of people have been furloughed. I noticed that I'm actually in a healthy relationship, or I noticed that I actually love what I do.”

Tartt said practicing gratitude will make your brain notice the things that are positive, which will naturally make us feel better. Lastly, Tartt shared that the body does in fact keep an emotional score and warned to watch for signals that the holiday blues could be turning into depression.

“You're experiencing more of a bad thing, so you're more irritable, you're having trouble sleeping, you're feeling overwhelmed or checked out, like you've really reached your tolerance,” he explained. “We call that compassion fatigue. You should care, but you're just out of feelings, more crying spells, feeling on edge. Your emotions [are] trying to signal you to do something different.”

7. Having a sense of meaning and purpose

Tartt shared that when your life is operating from doing something that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose, not just pleasure, that is called flourishing.

He continued, “Am I making a difference? Am I acting in accordance to my legacy? Am I doing what I want to do instead of procrastinating? Do I see me building this company, getting better at relationships, having better friendships, losing weight, gaining muscle, cooking better, whatever?”

Tartt explained that when you have a sense of accomplishment where you’re growing, your efforts matter and you feel self-efficacy, you have the power to make your life better by feeling capable and making progress.

The holiday season can be a minefield of emotions, but you don’t have to navigate it alone or in silence. Whether it's building community, embracing awe, or simply giving yourself grace, these tools can help you reclaim peace and purpose. Your mental health matters — not just during the holidays, but every day.