Meghan Markle continues to share her truth surrounding dealing with the British media during her time in The Royal Family.

Markle says the press would call her children the N-word. She also explained why she chose not to share images of her children with Prince Harry initially. “There’s literally a structure by which if you want to release photos of your child, as a member of the family, you first have to give them to the Royal Rota,” said Markle during an interview with The Cut. Initially, Markle was allowed to join a preexisting social media account used by herself, Kate, Will, and Harry. However, there were a set of previously established rules that she was supposed to adhere to before sharing photos publicly. Markle further revealed that she and Harry did not have any control over the IG account.

“Why would I give the very people that are calling my children the N-word a photo of my child before I can share it with the people that love my child?” Markle asked. “You tell me how that makes sense and then I’ll play that game.” Just one month before the arrival of their son Archie, Markle and Prince Harry launched their own Instagram, noting that they refused to play the “exchange game.” Instead, they shared news on their own terms and even posted images that did not make it to the Royal Rota. Following their decision to step down as senior members of The Royal Family, the account was shut down as they can no longer use “royal” in their branding.

In June, the couple released their first photo of daughter Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor. They have since settled into life outside of The Royal Family, tucked away in their California home located in the coastal city of Montecito. “We did everything we could to get this house,” Markle explained. “Because you walk in and go…joy. And exhale. And calm. It’s healing. You feel free.”