When she entered the country space with COWBOY CARTER, Beyoncé brought her own blueprint and didn’t ask for permission. She blended traditions, subverted expectations and brought the genre somewhere it rarely dares to go. The sound was fresh, the vision was hers and the message was clear: Country was always for Black stories first and foremost. But beyond the musical boundary-breaking, there’s one wild question we couldn’t stop thinking about: What if Beyoncé went full influencer and inked brand deals based on her COWBOY CARTER tracklist?

This isn’t so far-fetched. Remember her viral Levi’s moment? Or her historic Ivy Park-Adidas drops? The woman could breathe life into anything, from high fashion to hot sauce. So, in the spirit of the yeehaw agenda – and plain ol’ fun -- we cooked up a mock list of hilarious (but kind of genius?) brand collabs, matching COWBOY CARTER tracks with fitting companies and possible partnerships. Would we actually buy Beyoncé-branded spaghetti sauce? Without hesitation.

Let’s ride.

1. MY ROSE – 1-800-FLOWERS

What better way to start than with a ballad made for bouquet season? Beyoncé’s voice floats through “MY ROSE” like a love letter dipped in perfume. Now imagine that same vibe in a commercial where she narrates your next apology delivery. “Sorry, I forgot your birthday… again.” Cut to Beyoncé in a velvet rodeo gown, arranging roses in slow motion. If Hallmark had any sense, they’d be on the phone, too. Just picture the tagline: “She sings it. You send it.”

2. TEXAS HOLD ‘EM – MGM Rewards

She said, “This ain’t Texas, ain’t no hold ‘em,” and the boots hit the blackjack table. This hit is already a line-dancing classic, but picture it soundtracking a Vegas weekend commercial. Beyoncé walks through the casino in diamond-studded threads, tossing poker chips while singing, “Lay your cards down, down, down.” MGM could rebrand an entire wing of the Bellagio after her.

3. SPAGHETTII – Ragu vs. Prego (Brand Beef Supreme)

This one practically writes itself. “SPAGHETTII” is all heat and confidence — exactly what you’d expect if Beyoncé were the surprise guest judge in a Ragu vs. Prego cook-off. She’s got the apron, the taste buds and the bars to turn tomato paste into promo gold. “No sauce, they salty” is a statement and a slogan. TikTok chefs would lose it.

4. OH LOUISIANA – LSU Tigers Women’s Basketball

The love Beyoncé shows to Southern culture is real, especially given her own Houston and creole roots. With that said, “OH LOUISIANA” feels like the perfect walk-out theme for an LSU locker room. The short, spun-up vocals could be the perfect pre-game tunnel music. Add a Beyoncé halftime performance and a jersey collab with the likes of Angel Reese? The internet would melt.

5. SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN’ – Burt’s Bees

No one makes bees (or the BeyHive, shall we say) feel sexy like Beyoncé. This track oozes with sweetness — kind of like a Burt’s Bees lip balm -- and wild energy. Picture Beyoncé on a rustic ranch, wind blowing, applying Sweet Buckin’ balm with a soft, golden sheen. The campaign could drop a limited-edition “Hive Queen” bundle complete with body oil, saddle cream and a bee emoji etched in gold. Finally, skincare that giddy-ups.

6. II MOST WANTED – Netflix’s Bonnie & Clyde Miniseries

This duet with Miley Cyrus feels like it was born in a Netflix trailer. Haunting harmonies, criminal attraction and Americana vibes? Beyoncé as Bonnie and JAY-Z as Clyde — an outlaw power couple tearing through the backroads with matching grills and matching getaway horses. Give them cowboy boots, gas station shootouts and a getaway scene in slow motion (doesn’t that remind you of their “On The Run Tour” vibes?). Each episode ends with a shot of them silhouetted against a pink-orange sky while “II MOST WANTED” plays in the background.

7. PROTECTOR – ADT Home Security

Only Beyoncé could turn a home security system into a spiritual experience. “PROTECTOR” feels like a lullaby, an oath and a shield all at once. Now imagine a commercial where Beyoncé watches over her home like a bedazzled saint of the Wild West. ADT signs turn gold. Security cams become cinematic. Rumi Carter’s voiceover: “ Because even when you're not home, she is.” Nobody’s breaking in with that energy at the door. You’re not just safe — you’re sanctified.

8. ALLIIGATOR TEARS – Houston Zoo Reptile & Amphibian House

Partnering with the Houston Zoo’s Reptile House would be the hometown flex of the year. Beyoncé could have a gator named after her and narrate an educational segment on “emotional creatures.” Merch idea: Plush alligator toys in cowboy hats and matching t-shirts. Bring the kids.

9. “RIIVERDANCE” or “II HANDS II HEAVEN” – Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater

These tracks are the spiritual cousins of performance art. Between the enchanting vocals and stomping rhythm, either one could headline a contemporary Alvin Ailey production. Beyoncé joins the dancers onstage in cowboy-inspired couture, commanding the room with movement that blends tradition and power. The resulting show would tour worldwide, and the visuals alone could cure burnout.