Key Takeaways

• Ahead of his upcoming memoir, “I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me,” Lil Jon recalled the moments leading up to and after the death of his son, Nathan Smith.
• Before his death, Nathan told his father that he would communicate better and stop letting fear hold him back.
• Nathan's death was ruled accidental, with the cause listed as “drowning in the setting of psilocybin use.”

Losing a child is a painful experience no parent should have to endure, but that was the recent reality for Jonathan Smith, better known as Lil Jon. His son, Nathan Smith, died in February, causing a heartbreak that turned his entire world upside down.

On Wednesday (Oct. 14), PEOPLE shared an exclusive excerpt from the “Get Low” rapper’s upcoming memoir, “I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me,” in which he opened up about the “devastating call” he received after Nathan went missing and the last conversation they shared before his death.

Jon began the nearly 12-minute audio preview by sharing that he started writing the memoir in early 2024, thinking it would be a “good way to share the experiences” he’d lived through. That included performing alongside Usher at the Super Bowl LVIII Halftime Show, going through a divorce, and welcoming his second child, Nahara. “The process was deeply therapeutic, and I was happier than I’d been in a long time,” he said. However, while preparing for the book’s release, he received the heartbreaking news that Nathan had run away from his Georgia home.

“Police had searched everywhere. But he hadn’t turned up,” Jon recalled. “It was all so crazy because, leading up to this moment, everything seemed fine. Days earlier, he’d called to say, ‘I love you.’ I told him I loved him, too.” According to the Crunk Rock artist, Nathan was still "trying to find himself,” as many young adults are, while also “dealing with some emotional difficulties.”

Jon went on to reveal that Nathan had spent roughly three or four years “struggling with intense physical pain,” at times to the point where simply getting off his couch was a challenge. “He couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. And he couldn’t figure out how to get long-term relief,” the Grammy-winning musician further shared.

Lil Jon shares his final conversation with son Nathan Smith

A few minutes into the “I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me” excerpt, Jon went into greater detail about how he was encouraging his son to take care of himself and how he was responding to it. Nathan texted him early on a Saturday morning, writing, “Love you, Dad, got so much love for you. I’m gonna try communicating better and stop letting fear hold me back. My love for you is stronger than my fear. And I’ma get on the supplements tomorrow." The message continued, “It’s funny, I know that family bond is strong because our whole family really only argues 'cause we care. LMAO. I was thinking about our back and forth, and I was like, damn, it’s just 'cause we both care.”

His father responded, “I do care a lot. You are my only son, and I worry about you a lot. You are so talented and extremely smart. Nothing should be holding you back. I pray for the days you have no more discomfort and no more fear. You will excel in everything you want to do. Those days are coming. Love you.” After discussing the exchange with his therapist, who stressed that Nathan simply wanted “to be heard and seen,” the rapper called his son back to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” the Frederick Douglass High School alum remembered telling Nathan. “I see that you’re trying, and I want you to know that you are seen. All the effort you’ve been putting in — I see it. And I see you.” He added, “Little did I know that was the last time I would talk to him. The next day, I got the call that he was missing. My mind went into overdrive.”

What happened to Lil Jon’s son, Nathan Smith?

Nathan, who followed in his father’s footsteps in music as DJ Young Slade, was discovered in a pond near Mayfield Park by the Cherokee County Fire Department on Feb. 6, CBS News reported. His official cause of death was determined to be “drowning in the setting of psilocybin use,” meaning the psychedelic substance was in his system at the time of his accidental death.

“My head dropped. My heart broke. I was shell-shocked, overwhelmed with pain,” Jon said of his reaction when officers informed him that they had found his son. “Just as nothing can prepare you for the moment your child enters the world, nothing can prepare you for the moment your child leaves the world.” Throughout the remainder of the excerpt, the Atlanta native opened up about how he never thought Nathan “would do anything to harm himself” and the sleepless night he endured before his son's funeral.

“I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me” is currently available for preorder and is set to hit the shelves on Tuesday (Oct. 20). The following day (Oct. 21), the author/artist is set to sit down with Charlamagne Tha God at a New York Barnes & Noble to discuss the memoir in person. He will then head to Los Angeles to do the same with historian and journalist Ashley Kahn on Oct. 26 at another Barnes & Noble.