Chrissy Teigen is opening up about the loss of her third child. In an emotional letter that was posted to Medium on Tuesday (Oct. 27), the cookbook author and model revealed details about being diagnosed “with partial placenta abruption” and the final moments she and John Legend shared with their baby.
“I had no idea when I would be ready to write this,” she wrote. “Part of me thought it would be early on — when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened. I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket and finally get the chance to address ‘what happened.’”
Teigen went on to thank everyone for their support and kindness as she and her family dealt with this tough moment.
“After we first lost Jack, I found myself incredibly worried that I wasn’t able to thank everyone for their extreme kindness,” she continued. “Many shared incredible personal experiences, some shared books and poems. I wanted to thank everyone, share our story with each individual person. But I knew I was in no state to. For me, the ‘no need to respond’ note was such a true relief. I thank you for each and every one of those.”
Teigen said the doctors tried several blood transfusions, but it started to become dangerous for her as well. She also addressed the criticism she faced for posting photos of her final moments with Baby Jack, who passed away last month.
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos,” she wrote. “How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
The model concluded her letter by saying that she needed to get this off of her chest so she could live her life again. “I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so,” she continued. “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”
Our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to the Legend family. Check out Teigen’s full letter below.