He has just as many ventures and accolades as he does nicknames. Business tycoon, music magnate, television personality, fashion icon, cool Dad, dancing Machine, liquor titan, messenger of positive vibes, award-winning actor, soon to be co-owner of the Carolina Panthers (fingers crossed, prayers up). Revolt TV Chairman Sean “Diddy” Combs stunted for the world as the subject of the cover story of the April 2018 edition issue of GQ Magazine.

Puff first appeared on GQ back in the 90s, and in the article he talks about dreaming of accomplishing that goal as a child. GQ, Essence, Ebony, and Jet were publications he wanted to be on the front of. Obviously in his three-decade-long career, Diddy has made a legacy out of making his dreams come true. But there’s one nightmare he has yet to reconcile: the death of Notorious B.I.G.

March 9 marked 21 years since Biggie, born Christopher Wallace, was assassinated in Los Angeles. For Diddy, it was more than losing a once-in-a-lifetime, game-changing artist. His best friend was murdered.

“Nah, I haven’t dealt with any of that yet,” he told GQ about Big’s passing and the brutal way it occurred. “I try to get into it, but…that’s something that just hurts so bad. That’s a time that’s still suppressed.”

“Love,” as he is referred to throughout the article, also revealed that almost three years ago he had a bout with depression and went to Sedona, Ariz. to revitalize himself.

Puff’s zeal for life and his quest to build up black people has been on full throttle, and he works towards uplifting and exemplifying “Black Excellence” on the daily.

“I want to be an authentic, unapologetic warrior for black culture,” Combs said, “and the culture of the street and how it moves. My thing is most importantly to change the narrative of the black race. I can’t relate to anything that isn’t about that.”

“Black Excellence” is not just a term but it’s a way of life that Diddy and JAY-Z frequently converse about. Puff is also in the developing stage of an app that helps users locate all the black-owned businesses in every city.

As for music, Diddy has a handful of artists he likes beyond others right now: Kendrick Lamar and his TDE labelmate SZA, Future, Drake, newcomer Lil Baby and legends JAY-Z and Nas.

You can read the full GQ article here.