'I Guess' is Kathy Iandoli's battle cry of #shruglife. It's everything that impresses us and unimpresses us—which could be one in the same given the day.
Nearly everyone I know had at least one song on their Spotify 2018 year-end list that they hated. You know, that list that Spotify compiles for its premium members to show them what they've played the most all year? People love to post these cute lists with a cute little caption like, "OMG HOW DID I PLAY DRAKE SO MUCH WHEN I'M SICK OF HIM?" and it's like, "BECAUSE YOU PLAYED DRAKE A BILLION TIMES A DAY, THAT'S WHY." You complained for six months straight about how much "In My Feelings" sucked, yet somehow it found its way into your daily rotation.
And the reason why you'll find all these songs on there -- that you apparently detested -- is because we tend to hate-watch and hate-listen things for fun now. It's a strange way to live, really, derived from our over consumption of content to the point where we've now run out of good things to absorb, and move over to the stuff we abhor just to get angry/satisfied. This phenomenon has put money into so many undeserving pockets it's crazy, and it's because the algorithms know we are fickle AF.
It's like when you've muted someone on Instagram and then, purposely go on their page just to get pissed about the latest meme they've posted. This is what we do. We are all multimedia scab pickers. We did this with Uggs. Yes, Uggs. Remember those boots that you once called Ugg-ly that you now buy every winter (or summer in Los Angeles if you're still a Hills fan)? You hate-wore them right the fuck into your wardrobe. It's an all too familiar phenomenon that companies like Spotify capitalize on ever since "American Idol" decided to help William Hung get a record deal. The more you dislike something nowadays, the more you consume it.
Case in point: The GRAMMYs.
Last week, the GRAMMYs released its nominations for their 61st GRAMMY Awards, airing this year on February 10, 2019. I mention the date because as much as you hate the GRAMMYs, you'll be tuned in. For an extremely hot second, it felt as though the Recording Academy might ditch the ceremony altogether at the rate the hate was boiling over as it pertained to the GRAMMYs around announcement time a few years back. Then, the award show aired and people still watched it, and the Academy was probably like, "Whew! Thanks Nielsen families for showing us how fickle AF the average American viewer is. What's a boycott? Hardy har har."
The nominees span across artists, songs, and albums of all genres — some feel like they have been a part of our lives since like 2012. Example: Post Malone and his "Rockstar" song. Why is that song up for a GRAMMY? Hasn't that song been around since the '90s? And why is Bebe Rexha up for Best New Artist? She played herself in a documentary about herself in 2017, which means that A) She had to be around long enough for a whole damn documentary and B) She's far from new. Even Kanye West managed to MAGA his way into a nomination for Producer of the Year for all of those 25-minute albums he made last minute on that ranch in Wyoming.
Cardi B has five nominations, losing out to Brandi Carlile and I still have no idea who she is. If there's a Brandi Hive, I'm sure they'll come for me once the Swifties are done dragging me for these LOLs I'm inserting here over Taylor Swift having only one nomination for an album that came out in 2017. The Carters' Everything Is Love didn't get nominated for anything major, but considering (once again) that Rexha is a "new" artist, I am side-eyeing the GRAMMYs whole metric system. Again, I'm a mere mortal here just like you and will inevitably hate-watch the GRAMMYs, as well. Surprisingly, Drake's "In My Feelings" wasn't nominated, though "God's Plan" was, along with the whole Scorpion album. "In My Feelings" will probably be nominated next year. So, we will have something to be angry about at the end of 2019. Remember when Drake staged his own little GRAMMY protest a year or two ago because he didn't feel like More Life should've been nominated for the album categories because it was a mixtape? I bet he'll hate-attends this time.
Maybe we just like to complain, mainly to have something to contribute to twitter, since we can't keep yelling in all caps at JetBlue delaying flights in the hopes of a travel voucher. After all, if we don't actively ingest what we hate, how can we spew about it over social media? A few months ago, a friend of mine asked me if I would be tuned into some speech Trump was making and I said, "Absolutely not, are you?" to which she replied, "Yeah, I'll probably hate watch it." I, on the other hand, was sitting in a Starbucks hate-listening to "In My Feelings" playing in the café, while sipping on an iced tea that I received for free after complaining over social media that my wait time at Starbucks was taking too long. I've since deleted the tweet, so I can do it again in the future. I'll hate-drink that next tea while wearing my pair of Uggs.
More by Kathy Iandoli: